well hello there. back again. todayy. well todayy was rather interesting. i talked to him todayy. it was like normal. til he asked me how myy weekend was...so check it i prettyy much went on a date...it was the whole 9 yards...like came up to my front door, opened the car door, reall gentleman like. went out to eat, went to see a movie, (which was ballin btw) then we got some yummyy ice cream...then when it came to me goin inside to crash...he attempted to kiss me. had to turn the cheek. 2nd attempt of the night...1st was when he went to grab myy hand during the movie. had to move myy hand...i think about it now, it was a joke to think i was readyy. the whole time we were at the restuarant...all i could think about was his order. haha Bacon Cheeseburger w/ no tomatoes, no pickles && fries w/ ketchup on the side. remember about memories?...well it just brought things rushing back. totallyy turned myy appetite south for the night. i SHOULDNTVE been thinking about him while im on a date. as that semi-passed && we got to the movie, saw a bunch of ppl that i used to talk to. all i could think about was how things used to be. but ill save that storyy for a diff blogg...but yeah we go see the movie. it was good. LOVE you JAMIE FOXX!!! lol but yeah as we were gettin to my house...all i could think about was how i didnt want what was going to happen...to happen. as he "leaned in"...i had to turn my cheek. the onlyy thing that was running through myy mind was him. this isnt right. at all. thats all i kept saying to myself. the guyy was prettyy let down. i could tell it on his face. i told him i didnt want to jerk him around on some ride where someone gets hurt cuz im still trippin over him. idk. part of me just wants to wake up from this horrendous dream...just get a major reality check...stop holding on to false hope. but other times...the things he says im just like it can happen. we just need to grow up. mature. blah blah blah...i guess its just something we have go through. like ya know...like catch a person on the wrong, or right dayy...
sorryy this blogg is kind of a downer...
on a lighter note...
it stormed all night earlyy this morning. i hate thunder storms. w/ a passion. but i had Sam byy myy side...so it was semi-ok. i know when the thunder woke me up, i went to grab myy phone to call him...had to sit back for a moment && just realize. he wouldnt answer. (&& yes i know im a babyy!!!...almost 19 years old && still afraid of thunder storms...DONT REMIND ME...) just reallyy made me think about the comfort level you can have w/ a person over time. CRAZYY how comfortable you can get w/ them...like fa reall...im still trippin over it.
well. im prettyy tired. even though i didnt do anything todayy but sleep in, go tan, get gas, && sitt at home w/ Sam...lol hey it was my day off k??? i guess imma duece out for tonight.
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